im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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