so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
