at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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