I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
