I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
