i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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