I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
