He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
