I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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