Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you would pick up someone in the library
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
