well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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