i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
