I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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