Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
