so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
