i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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