should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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