a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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