I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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