We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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