I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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