I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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