Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
