He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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