if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
