I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
