He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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