Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
vagina is talking i cant
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
