dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
