She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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