I'm jealous of your bromance
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
