I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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