My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
