Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.