my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just threw up on my dentist
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
