Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
