Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
