I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
