'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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