I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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