Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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