where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just invented taco cereal.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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