It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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