Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just had sex bonerless
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
