I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
