I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
