I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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