I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
