i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
