Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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