Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
