so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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