i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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