The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
