when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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