Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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