Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
