Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
