Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
