i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
