is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
