there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
