my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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